My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sry I called you an 8
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
