i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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