do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
