it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
