I wish you could order shots online.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Rumble strips road head = magical
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
