i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
