I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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