Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
