Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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