Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
