is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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