I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
