my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
