nut hugger
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she peed on how many people?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
