We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
