Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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