i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
