i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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