why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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