i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
