either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
