I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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