Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
