good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
