Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Ketchup is God's man juice
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
