Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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