My girlfriend figured out who you are.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
