omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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