It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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