he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
