I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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