And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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