"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so explain again why im purple
no
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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