i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
