Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
