I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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