That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
