OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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