I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
