I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
