if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
