It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
