Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
