Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
