Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
