Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
