i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
