i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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