I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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