you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
